Do It Scared [It's Time to Stop Letting Fear Delay You]!
I wish I could say that every time I’ve done something brave, I felt confident going into it. Like I prayed about it, felt an overwhelming sense of peace from God, took it as my sign, and walked forward without questioning myself. Wouldn't that be nice!
But a lot of the things I’m most proud of doing have looked a lot more like being nervous, questioning myself, praying about it again, taking a few deep breaths, and eventually deciding to do it scared anyways. Trying to embrace more and more the idea of I rather try and fail, than not try at all.
I think we can get caught up in believing that if something is right for us, we should feel completely at peace about it. Or that if we’ve done enough healing, nervous system work, therapy, prayer, breathwork, whatever it may be, we shouldn’t still feel anxious when it’s time to actually do the thing.
But being regulated doesn’t mean never feeling nervous. And having faith doesn’t mean never feeling afraid. Sometimes something is scary simply because it matters to us. Sometimes there’s a chance we could fail, be rejected, embarrass ourselves, make the wrong choice, or realize it didn’t turn out the way we hoped. And sometimes there isn’t enough breathwork in the world to make you feel 100% comfortable before taking that step.
The goal isn’t always to get rid of the fear. Sometimes it’s learning that fear can come along for the ride without getting to drive the bus.
So if you’re in one of those seasons right now, here are four things I love to come back to.
1. Ask yourself what you're actually afraid of
Sometimes “I’m scared” is where we stop, but there’s usually something underneath it.
Am I afraid I’ll fail? That someone will judge me? That I’ll regret it? That I’m making the wrong decision? That I’m not capable of handling whatever happens next? Get curious about the actual fear instead of immediately trying to make it disappear. Sometimes naming it takes away some of its power. Other times, it helps us realize there’s something we genuinely need to pay attention to.
I like bringing God into this part too. Instead of only asking, What should I do? I might ask, God, what am I actually afraid of here? What am I holding onto? What do I need help trusting you with?
You don't necessarily need an immediate answer. Sometimes the prayer itself creates enough space to hear what’s underneath all the noise.
2. Check in with your body before you let your thoughts take over
Our brains are really good at creating an entire future out of something that hasn’t even happened yet. Your body can be helpful information here. Notice what happens when you think about taking the next step. Is your jaw clenched? Are you holding your breath? Is your heart racing? Do you feel the urge to immediately back out?
Instead of treating those sensations as proof that you shouldn’t do it, take a minute to actually be with them. Put your feet on the ground. Let your shoulders drop. Slow your breathing down and make your exhale a little longer. Then check in again.
Sometimes the answer doesn’t change, but you’re able to look at it from a much more grounded place. You’re making the decision with your nervous system instead of letting an activated nervous system make the decision for you.
3. Stop asking yourself to be fearless
I don't think the goal is to become the person who never gets scared. I'd rather become someone who trusts herself, and most importantly God, enough to know that she can handle being scared. It reminds me of a church sermon where the pastor was talking about how who you trust can change how you perceive your problems. God is so big, and when we trust him and remember he never fails us, we can change how we perceive that problem.
There have been plenty of times when I’ve prayed about something and still felt nervous afterward. I don't think that automatically means God is telling me no. Sometimes faith has looked less like receiving some huge wave of certainty and more like believing I don't have to see the entire path before taking one step.
You can be nervous and still trust God.
Youcan feel your heart beating faster and still know you're capable of doing hard things.
Courage doesn't require the absence of fear.
And one of my favorite quotes or mottos lately has been Courage > Confidence. Because if you are waiting for confidence, you might never take the next step.
4. Make the next step smaller
Sometimes we’re scared because we're mentally trying to do the entire thing at once, and this is your reminder that you don't have to. What is the smallest next step you can take today? Send the email. Fill out the form. Make the phone call. Tell someone what you’ve been thinking about. Sign up for the thing. Research the first step. Give yourself ten minutes to start.
You don't have to know exactly how everything is going to work out before you begin.
This is probably one of the biggest things faith continues to teach me. I would personally LOVE a detailed itinerary from God. Preferably with dates, times, confirmation numbers, and a little note that says, Yes Taylor, this is definitely the right decision. Unfortunately, I'm realizing that has not been how it works.
There are absolutely times when fear is worth listening to. I don't believe we should bulldoze over everything our bodies are telling us or label every hesitation as something we need to overcome. Sometimes something genuinely isn't right for us.
But discomfort and danger aren't the same thing. Fear and a “no” aren't always the same thing either.
Sometimes you're standing at the edge of something you really want, and there isn't going to be a magical moment when every ounce of fear disappears. So pray about it. Pay attention to your body. Get curious about what you're actually afraid of. Take the next small step you can take.
And if you're still a little scared?
Do it scared anyways.
God can meet you there, too.
And a gentle reminder you don’t have to do the scary things alone.
If you’re in a season of figuring out what’s next, working through fear, or learning to trust yourself and God a little more deeply, breathwork can be a beautiful place to start.
Book a 1:1 Breathwork Session or, if you’re looking for a faith-centered space to breathe, pray, and reconnect, Join the next free Breathe with Jesus group here.
I would be honored to work with you and help you tap into your courage to do the dang thing!
Love and light,
Taylor Leslie, MA LPCC
Breathwork Coach & Licensed Therapist in MN
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